Closed Door

Friday, September 5, 2014

Part 40


Dear Diary, 

It’s been two days and they are finally willing to say that Josh is going to make it.  As I understand it, it was more the loss of blood than anything else and now that they found the leak and plugged it he is rapidly improving. 

Dorrie … now Dorrie is another story.  She knew Josh was a cop when they started keeping company.  I think the reality of that just now set in though.  It hasn’t changed how she feels about him, she’s just not sure how to accept the violence that he faces nearly every day and keep it in perspective.  She’s trying but Cal has said that Josh told him not to push her; that some people just can’t deal with it.  He wasn’t going to hold it against her if she couldn’t. 

I’m not going to give up on it yet.  I think Josh is just trying to protect himself from a potential hurt.  Dorrie has a good head on her shoulders and I know she thinks quite a bit of Josh.  I won’t play matchmaker – don’t have the experience, misjudged once too often – but I will pray that if it is God’s will they’ll be smart enough to work it out. 

I just still can’t believe that someone was crazy enough to tar and feather people in this day and age.  What a crock of stinky stuff!  It still makes me sick to my stomach.  Luckily Cal only got a glancing splash from the cold roofing tar and not the hot tar that covered Deputy Hanson.  That man Ricks was caught and while he blusters about being a real patriot (little “p” as I refuse to see him as one with a capital “P”) and says that he was standing up to the tyranny of an oppressive government, he also denies that he told anyone to use hot tar.  Apparently he was going for something less than outright First Degree Murder.  Tell that to Deputy Hanson’s wife and children.  Tell that to Josh who was shot while running to the aid of Deputy Hanson who was screaming horribly. 

I found out about the screaming when Cal woke up with a nightmarish yell of his own that first night, missing most of one eyebrow and his own scalp raw in places from the solvent that was needed to get the most stubborn of the tar to release his skin from its grip. 

On top of that Cal has gone back and forth about moving out.  He’s worried that if he stays it will make me and Feena a target … several police officer’s homes have been vandalized and threats have been made against their families.  He’s worried that if he does leave there won’t be anyone here – or at least near – to protect us and make the criminals think twice before trying something.  I told him I’ve known what he was for years and if he was asking for my opinion I wanted him to stay … that he made me feel safer. 

“Safer?  What if I bring this crap to your home Aria?” 

“This is your home too so don’t go abandoning it out of some misplaced sense of guilt and good intentions.  You’ve got no reason to feel guilty and the road to hell is paved with good intentions; and, since I’ve chosen a different path than that hot ol’ place I might as well drag you along even if it is kicking and screaming … for your own good of course.” 

He opened his mouth to say something and then just rolled his eyes and gave in.  I know it is still on his mind.  I caught him drawing outlines for new and improved tactical plans for the house and surrounding property.  I noticed he was trying to sneak around and inventory the ammo supply as well.  I didn’t comment.  I think it is a guy thing … and glad of it I am.  I wasn’t kidding when I said I feel safer with Cal living here. 

What really chaps me is that Ricks – “the accused” or “the alleged” if you listen to the boob tube or radio – tries to act like he is the innocent victim of some gestapo like tactics by his creditors.  Hello!!!  No one broke his arm to buy that house that was financially unsustainable on his income.  No one put a gun to his head to then take out equity loans to buy the latest big boy toys.  No one told him if he didn’t run up his fifteen or so credit cards to maintain his chosen lifestyle as his income began to deteriorate that they’d sell his wife and kids to flesh peddlers.  He used his free will all the way.  He also used his free will in ignoring all of the legal correspondence that came his way warning him as he got further and further behind in payments. 

But hey, it was OK that he got all sorts of public assistance like free help from the feds to get a three months stoppage on his foreclosure, food stamps, free medicare, and who knows what else.  I hate that kind of hypocrisy.  I mean, I know I’m only getting money because Daniel is dead.  I admit that.  I don’t like it but I admit it.  I’m trying to create a life where I don’t need that money because I suspect that I’m not going to get it much longer.  I’m also accepting it more for Feena than for me.  Is that rationalizing it?  Probably.  But if she hadn’t had those doctors she would be dead right now … and maybe so would I.  And we wouldn’t have needed the doctors if Daniel hadn’t done what he did.  And because she was so sick when she was born early, the docs say that is why she needed the special formula and the vitamin drops.  I found a milk replacement for her eventually but she still needs the vitamin drops though not quite so often and those things aren’t cheap.  I don’t think Daniel would begrudge that for his daughter. 

But I’m a good steward of what money I have – regardless of where it comes from.  About the only thing I ever splurge on is apple soda.  I buy my clothes and shoes at the thrift shop unless I can run across something on the deep discount rack in a regular store.  I sew Feena’s clothes.  I did have to buy her a pair of orthopedic shoes when she started trying to walk because she is badly pigeon toed on her right foot.  Sure, I’ve spent a good bit of money on the house but I didn’t do it using a credit card or equity loan; I’ve paid cash for everything that I couldn’t trade or barter for. 

Cal and I have discussed the possibility of revolution happening at some point - watering the tree of liberty and all that; even a blind man can see the possibility with the way things are going. But if Mr. Ricks or people like him are the leaders of that uprising then I’m pretty sure I don’t want to have anything to do with it.  It sounds like they’d be just as likely to interpret the Constitution to serve them than to adhere to the Constitution so it serves everyone.

1 comment:

  1. Thank You Kathy. I hope your building project is progressing as planed and that the weather cooperated for poring the concert.
    Wayne

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