Closed Door

Thursday, July 24, 2014

Part 2

Dear Diary, 

Been too scared and upset to write.  Daniel got in a fight and got arrested over in Pinellas County.  He called his older sister – she’s married to some up and coming real estate lawyer named Mack I think I’ve met all of three times – because he needed to be bailed out and he knew I wouldn’t be able to come up with the money.  Well when Mack found out what Trish wanted the money for he wouldn’t let her have it and then called Mr. Lowery and then the cow pies started to fly.  It’s brutal; the whole time I was sitting up waiting for Daniel to get home he was locked up safe and sound … relatively speaking.  Someone in the holding cells didn’t like his look and tried to rearrange his face for him … tried to arrange a few other body parts too. 

His family blames me.  I didn’t even know he’d been drinking.  The doctors at the VA told him specifically not to, that it doesn’t go well with the pain medication he is on.  Everyone seems to think that either I drove him to drink or that I should have known and gotten them involved before it got to this point.  Some even blame me for not telling them how Daniel has been acting.  Well I take responsibility for that last bit but no one really knows the half of it because now Daniel’s father has outright forbidden me from telling anyone that his injury isn’t why he hasn’t been allowed to return to active duty. 

I didn’t know myself the real reason why until two days ago.  His primary care doctor got him into a program at the VA for substance abuse but it meant I had to have a sit down with the docs and go over a bunch of paperwork because it included a semi-involuntary commitment to the hospital.  That meant for legal purposes they wanted me on board with the treatment plan. What the doctor was saying wasn’t making any sense and I kept reading over the forms and that’s when I saw it.  Daniel is on something called limited duty, actually it is something a little more than that which is why he hasn’t been receiving a paycheck from the military.  I don’t understand all of it.  He hasn’t been discharged … yet … but it looks like he is on his way to a Section 8 because he isn’t complying with some series of interviews he was supposed to have.  Some tests are still pending – takes forever to move things along through the VA – and so are some evaluations.  They were waiting for the final operation to take the pins out of Daniel’s leg but now … now not so much. 

I feel like I’ve been kicked.  And what really blew me away was when the doctor asked me to sign my name on a piece of blank paper and then walked with it out of the room.  He came back in with some scary people and asked for my ID.  Then some really bad stuff started happening.  Apparently Daniel’s little sister signed my name on some forms and there was a lot of legal mumbo jumbo flying around that I didn’t understand except to know that it was bad.  Then I looked at the date on the form and knew what had happened. 

I explained to everyone that on that date I was still in the hospital recovering from a late second-trimester miscarriage or still birth or whatever you want to call it.  That the car I’d been riding in had been t-boned by a truck whose driver had had a heart attack at the wheel and run a red light hitting on my side of the vehicle.  I was in a real bad way and so was Daniel when he arrived stateside coincidentally to the accident I was in.  I told them the family had just been trying to save me from knowing how bad off Daniel was and Daniel from knowing how bad off I was. 

Some of the people at the VA bought it, some haven’t.  I still don’t know where it’s going to end.  For now his dad is telling everyone Daniel had a mild episode of PTSD.  Maybe that is what the problem is.  I don’t know what to think right now and I’m not sure who to trust.  All I know is that I am four months pregnant and I am scared; scared that I don’t know where this is going and if I’m honest, a little scared of Daniel now too.

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