Closed Door

Thursday, July 24, 2014

Part 13

Dear Diary, 

The funeral was today.  No one could look at me.  I couldn’t look at anyone else.  I feel so guilty.  Trish is a mess and so is her sister.  I didn’t know what to say.  They didn’t either.  No one did.  I’m not sure there are words for what we continue to feel. 

Mr. Lowery refused to leave town and go visit relatives out of state.  He said if his daughters were staying then he and his wife would as well.  That Daniel would never hurt them.  God, how soon he forgot.  Daniel needed money, money for drugs and he would get it whatever way he could.   

Trish and Mack were attacked in their home by a masked intruder.  But they don’t keep cash in the house anymore.  Mack isn’t making the big money he used to and everything that comes in has to go into the bank to pay bills.  They even lost Trish’s expensive jewelry that used to be kept in their safe deposit box when the IRS confiscated it for back taxes even though their case is under appeal.  They didn’t recognize Daniel, not even his voice; and even if they had he knocked them both out before stealing their car and heading straight for his parents’ house. 

The neighborhood security force knew the car and didn’t suspect anything was out of the ordinary.  But when neighbors reported hearing screams they rushed in, only by the time they got there it was too late.  Daniel had committed murder and escaped by car again.  Witnesses say he never even tapped the brakes.  He flew over the retention wall at nearly a hundred miles per hour and into the water-filled canal that surrounds the gated community.  Even had someone been able to get him out of the dark water right away it wouldn’t have done any good.  The steering column of his father’s classic Cadillac – built well before air bags – had crushed his chest and everything in it. 

So now it’s over … or … or … maybe not.  Maybe this will never be over.  I go to sleep and dream of the escalating nightmare my life has been for the last two years.  I wake up to the nightmare of having everyone know my business.  I just want to leave but I can’t afford to.  Cal invited me to come live with him and Lily until everything blows over and I can get back on my feet.  But I can’t do that.  Something is going on between those two and I have a feeling that I need to stay out of it, not for my sake but for theirs.  They’ve lived this with me for months now.  They’ve lived this stress this nightmare more than just vicariously.  I can never thank them enough.  But I can at least give them the space to face whatever is going on in their lives with some peace, without my presence looming over them like some sick fog. 

Trish stopped me before I could slip out the back of the chapel at the gravesite.  She said that the reading of the wills would be tomorrow and that I need to be there.  She said there were some loose ends that needed to be dealt with. 

I was hoping to leave tomorrow to go to Ruskin, to hide out, to lick my wounds.  I even have my little car all packed with what I could actually move and lift out of the storage unit where Cal and Lily had stored everything.  If I can’t I suppose one more night in a hotel won’t kill me.  LOL!   

Did I really just laugh at that?  God I’m so sick.  How can I laugh at such a bad pun?   And today of all days?

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